Maya and Cam: Inside
by AshAnAuthor
Summary: This looks at the scene in Doll Parts (Part 1) where Maya tries to get Cam's attention by taking her shirt off. It includes their thoughts and internal reactions.


"I've got feelings too!" Maya pours out her song, loud, and insistent, it echoes the feelings in her heart.

 _I have feelings too, Cam!_ She thinks, desperately. _You just don't see them. You NEVER see them._

Her heart song washes over him, and his math activates an umbrella, deflecting it.

He's as impassive as the hockey player hovering on the wall just over his head. Of course she's not expecting much of the hockey player, though at least he's doing what he's supposed to do, sit there and look...athletic.

She angrily strikes a chord, and glares at him. Her eyes are wide, her lips tight. She could glare at him all day and he wouldn't notice.

 _God, Cam, I'm talking to you. At least look at me. Please..._

"Thoughts?" she asks hopefully, her eyebrows raised, a slight smile on her face. Knowing that he must understand what she wants, he couldn't possibly be that oblivious.

 _Please say something about my song, Cam._

Of course she would never admit her silent begging to anyone.

He sits only a foot away from her, never once looking up, or you know, acknowledging that she exists.

His head is buried in a math book, his straight short brown hair the only thing looking at her, giggling slightly, she imagines.

 _Should be 300, should be 300, should be 300. Stupid, it should be 300! Why do I keep getting 96?! Oh my God, I'm going to fail. I'm going to fail. I'm going to fail. I'm going to fail. I'm going to fail. I'm going to fail._

This begins to loop endlessly in his head, a bit quieter than his calculations. In his head he can see himself hyperventilating, and pulling at his hair, grabbing his skate. The bathroom pops into his head and dissolves almost as quickly.

 _Be still, think about Math, be as still as you can._

From the outside Maya sees him, distant, loving every x and y, but not her. Ok, perhaps hating every x and y, but definitely not loving her.

 _Why is he so...so...gone? I wonder if he's thinking about hu..._

Her thoughts scare her. She cuts them off.

 _I'm going to fa-_

Despite the incessant nature of his thoughts, he's slightly irritated that he has to part from them. He's gotten so used to these never-ending thoughts. "I'm an idiot, I keep getting 96, but the answer key says I'm supposed to be getting 300?" His voice is questioning, and incredulous. He has no idea how to solve it, and how his answer could be so off. Maybe he should get a tutor?...

"No, about the song, it's about you." she whines, becoming slightly sullen. Her go-to voice when dealing with Cam's indifference. At the end she tries her encouraging voice, this usually can rouse some interest in her boyfriend. It works, he's so predictable.

"I'm sorry, I'm really homework distracted right now." he plainly states. Then sighs under his breath, if that's even possible.

 _Leave me alone! Just leave me alone, Maya! Can't you see I'm stupid, and right on the verge of failing?! Can't you see I'm just trying to hold it all in, I have to!_

She sighs out her frustration.

 _What about me Cam? Why is this entire relationship about you?! This isn't even a relationship, it's the Cam Saunders Show featuring (on occasion) Maya Matlin. I can't BELIEVE I didn't see that. Ok, calm down Maya, you know he has to work harder in school._

"You seem stressed, lets take a break." she uses her teasing voice, hinting at more than just Math. Which is not as effective as her encouraging voice, which if she told the truth could be her talking-about-Cam-now voice. She wasn't sure anymore.

"Uh. I really need to figure this out, I've got a big test coming up." His world is as crooked as the picture of the hockey player, and he knows it. His world being crooked, not the hockey player picture, which he should straighten.

"Cam come on, we've been dating for like a month, and we've only kissed 6 times." she smiles, in the mood.

 _Think about me Cam. Sometimes stop always thinking about yourself. What do I want. You, for just 5 minutes, that's all I'm asking._ He lets out a hurricane-like sigh, clearly annoyed, and nearly rolls his eyes. Then he pointedly looks in her eyes, his jaw visibly tensed, and resigns himself to make her happy, to try harder.

She steels herself for a long passionate kiss, moving her hair out the way. No one wants hair in their mouth when passion strikes. His eyes are glinting mischievously, at least from her perspective. And gets...

nothing! ½ a second at the most. He pulls away as soon as their lips touch, happy with himself. He has made his girlfriend happy. He has done his job as a boyfriend.

"Seven." He raises his eyebrows, gives her a slight smile, and turns back to his work. He is determined to silence the continuous loop. _Be still Cam, just be still._

"That's it?!" she cries out.

 _Wow! That wasn't worth it. I can't believe he did that. What will it take to make him interested. Maybe if I take off my shirt... Yeah, that's a good idea._

 _If y=3, solve for x. Show work below._

 _x-25y=75y_

 _Hmm... 96, Damn!_

…


End file.
